Come, Come Yaoi Paradise
by u r - h u s b a n d o
Summary: First story on FanFiction and probably my last. This is my interpretation of Naruto and Naruto Shippuden in with some twists and turns and confusion. Let's hope there's a happy ending for NaruSasu.Slight Yaoi and bad humor.NARUSASU & other pairs.
1. Prologue

**A/N: This is my first and last Fanfic so please be gentle XD Joking. Just review what you think, you can even abuse me! Just wanna know what you think. DarkNeko isn't sure if it would be a one shot or just continuous chapters…**

**Disclaimer: The DarkNeko doesn't own Naruto only Kishimoto-sensei does, T-T We should thank him for such a beautiful gift he gave us that is called **_**Naruto**_**.**

**Come, Come Yaoi Paradise!**

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**Prologue**

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They say many bonds are built on friendship, trust and fights between each other. Fights can strengthen the bonds while others say it breaks bonds. But Naruto's bonds with Sasuke are far stronger than any bond between man and his dog. Naruto being the man and Sasuke being the dog, of course…

Their bonds grew even stronger on the day Sasuke challenge Naruto and ever since that day Sasuke has been seeking Orochimaru's power and Orochimaru had something else in mind than just having Sasuke's body… This story starts with Naruto and Sasuke first fight on top of the hospitals roof…

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The slow breeze passed Naruto and Sasuke. It was too silent as they stared at each other.

"Put it on!" Naruto starts.

"There would be no way you'll be able to touch me." Sasuke says through his teeth.

"That's not what I mean." Naruto points to himself, "I want to fight with you as an equal, so put it on!"

"Tch, you think I'm like you? There's no way you'll make me put it on." Sasuke says.

Naruto stares back at Sasuke and waited for Sasuke to put it on. With a sigh Sasuke walked off to put on the thing.

Sasuke comes back wearing a pink Harajuku styled dress with a pink and lacey headband on his head. Naruto approved Sasuke by placing his thumb up.

"Nice, Sasuke! Now we can begin!" Naruto came up running towards Sasuke.

"Hey, Hey! Time out! What's this got to do with making us equals." Sasuke starts making Naruto stop in his place.

"Well because I want both of us to be uke's… You kind of look like an uke right now…" Naruto says trying to hide his laughter.

"Well why don't you wear it?!" Sasuke says taking a step forward and nearly falling over, "Damn, these heels aren't meant for fighting!"

"Sasuukeee-kun! Stop this!" Sakura cries helplessly on the sidelines, "Don't dooo it, Naruto!"

Sasuke and Naruto looked to Sakura's direction with narrowed eyes. "This is our fight! Stay out of it!!"

"Nooooes! Sasuke-kuuun's gonna get hurt and I don't like that!!" She says even more helplessly.

"Shut up, bioch!" Sasuke yells.

"Yeah! What Sasuke-teme said!!"Naruto calls.

"Iyaaaaa!! Stop it you two!!" She shrieks.

Sasuke sighs and takes out a shot gun, "You know, I've always wanted to do this."

"Hey, Sasuke! I want to do it, too!" Naruto says reaching out for the gun.

"Hey, you dobe! Get off…" Sasuke says trying to pull Naruto off him.

"Aw, Sasuke! I want to kill her too! Bastard!!" Naruto says almost hugging onto Sasuke's waist.

"… Aren't you supposed to kill me now?" Sakura says.

Naruto and Sasuke looked at her and both of them held the trigger. Naruto looked at Sasuke in frustration.

"Hey, I don't want Sasuke germs!! Ew, Sasuke germs!!" Naruto says pushing Sasuke away from the trigger.

"Stop it, dobe!!" Sasuke says accidently pulling the trigger and killing Sakura, "Um… That wasn't supposed to happen…"

"Sasuke-teme! You killed her, know what are we supposed to do?" Naruto asks placing his hand under his chin and rubbing it thoughtfully.

Sasuke shrugged and walked away, "Just leave the corpse there. No-one would notice a thing about it…"

"Rodger, Sasuke!" Naruto says saluting him.

_Sasuke… I can't wait until I can finally fight you… _Naruto thought, walking right beside Sasuke and smiling like an idiotic child he is.

But it's a total downer that Sasuke ended up going with Orochimaru and Naruto being heart-broken in the end… it's such a tragedy… except for Sakura's unexpected death which isn't much of a tragedy… What a drag…

So the heart-broken blonde ninja went off for training to one day receive Sasuke's admiration for his strength and growth. And also to recover Sasuke back from Orochimaru's pedophiling hands. This is Naruto: Yaoi Chronicles… oh wait sorry typo… Naruto: Hurricane Chronicles (Shippuden) in the 'Come, Come Yaoi Paradise' Version. Let the Yaoi pairings and Yaoi-ness begin!! Dattebayo!!!!

**A/N: Hallo, I wonder if this is really a parody…Yeah… I know that I'm not the best writer but hey stories are all about the story-telling not how much words are in it. Thank you for those who are reading my first Fanfiction story/chapter and last fanfic to ever come. Next chapter may come in next month XD I don't really have a schedule for these things…**


	2. Chapter 1: Homecoming Surprise

**A/N: I forgot to say this but, I'll be only updating this once a month. So one chapter per month would be just A-OK! Enjoy. **

**Disclaimer(Again, I'm not sure when do I stop writing this disclaimer or why I'm writing this disclaimer but hey I'm confused as it is): I don't own **_**Naruto**_** but he's so damn good in NaruSasu Doujinshi's.**

Chapter 1: Homecoming surprise.

The sleepy blonde haired ninja slowly opened his eyes from his dream/flashback of the good old days of Team 7 (excluding Sakura). Tears formed in his eyes but he quickly wiped them away. Naruto stretched his arms to find that Jiraiya was giving him a piggy back ride home and to Naruto's surprise he punched the back of Jiraiya's head.

"Ouch, what was that for? I was just being kind enough to let you sleep while I do the travelling back to Konoha… kids these days…" Jiraiya says.

"That's not it!" Naruto yells with wide eyes, "This is just wrong! So wrong!! It's nasty!! Get me off, get me off!! Dattebayo!!"

Jiraiya sighed and placed the blonde ninja onto his feet and started walking ahead of Naruto. For around Two years Naruto has been training and finding a way to get Sasuke-kun back from the terrible Orochimaru-chan and Kabuto-chan. Along with training to fight Akatsuki, of course. In these years Naruto has grown up and is no longer a 'chibi' to Konoha. He fixed his forehead protector and ran after Jiraiya to find the village somewhere on the horizon.

"I never knew you didn't like piggy back rides…" Jiraiya says as he pouted, "What's wrong with them?"

"That's because you're the one who's giving me the piggy back ride… it's too nasty… Ero-Sennin." Naruto complained.

"Hmph." Was the only thing that came from Jiraiya as they entered through Konoha's gates.

The first thing Naruto saw was Konohamaru and a waterfall of tears came onto Naruto's face. Konohamaru and Naruto ran to each other and hugged.

"Uwah! How's my little bioch going? Did you perfect oiroke no jutsu just like I told you?" Naruto asks, still hugging Konohamaru tightly.

"Hai, Naruto-sensei!!" Konohamaru says, now with tears in his eyes, "Now I can do harem no jutsu!"

Naruto lets go of Konohamaru and pets his head, "That's my bioch."

Both Naruto and Konohamaru smiled at each other while Jiraiya walks straight to a sake bar to look for Tsunade. Suddenly Sai and Sakura walked past and quickly dashed towards Naruto.

"Naruto?" Sakura asks and then punches him in the stomach, "YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO BRING _MY _SASUKE-KUN BACK!"

"Whoa calm down, idiot." Sai says, "Naruto-kun just came back to see how I'm going because Naruto-kun loves me more than that gay Sasuke."

"Damn you Sai." Sakura says as she left the scene.

"I thought she was dead." Naruto says as he pointed Sakura, "We made sure she was dead… Sasuke… Sasuke-kun~"

Naruto started to cry and only Sai and Konohamaru comforted the poor blondie. Suddenly another set of Naruto characters came onto the scene which made Naruto stop crying and instead started laughing at Neji and his group.

"W-What is it, Naruto?" Neji asks as his eyebrow twitched.

"… Pfft! Ahaha! Who did your haircut?" Naruto asks still pointing at him.

"Oh? This. Hinata-sama gladly did this. She's very nice to do this for me… you like it? Uncle says I look adorable!" He says as he flipped the non-existing hair. Yeah, Hinata shaved all of Neji's hair and made him bald, "I'm so cute, ne?"

Ten-Ten moved closer to Naruto and whispered into his ear, "Just say he's adorable. Don't tell him anything or else… he would kill you."

Naruto gulped and then nodded a yes making Neji go all crazy with his 'cuteness'. Naruto slowly edged towards Lee to only find Lee complementing Neji on his youthfulness.

"Hey, Lee." Naruto whispers, "Did anything else happen? While I was gone…"

"Oh, Naruto-kun. Well… I might as well show you…" Lee says as he pushed Naruto away from the chaotic scene that Neji was creating.

"Ohohohohoho… I'm the fairest of them all… ohohohoh…." Neji says while laughing like a psychotic person.

"Yeah… sure you are…" Ten-Ten says in an exhausted voice.

"Nice look. Much sexier than mine." Sai says giving him the thumbs up.

Naruto waved goodbye to everyone but they weren't paying attention and was pushed away to the rest of the village. As they travelled Naruto had spotted Hinata near the ramen shop Naruto oh-so loved. Naruto and Hinata's eyes met making her blush a deep red.

"Oh, Hinata-san." Lee says waving at her.

"Oi, you're gonna scare her with your lameness." Naruto hisses as he walked straight towards her.

'_Oh no… Naruto-kun is walking straight towards me… what should I do… what should I do?' _Hinata thought as she fumbled with her fingers.

To Hinata's surprise Naruto quickly dashed straight inside the ramen shop and quickly ordered. Hinata's jaw dropped and Lee patted her shoulder.

"Don't worry. Naruto's youth will be reduced every time he eats that stuff, so he will surely learn his lesson soon." Lee reassures her making her feel even worse than before.

"Hi-Na-Ta-san~" Naruto calls, "Come here. I want to tell you something."

Hinata hesitantly walked into the shop and sat next to him while Lee sat next to Hinata. Naruto handed her a bowl of warm ramen while eating his. Hinata blushed again and waited for what Naruto was about to say. Naruto turns to Hinata and smiled.

"Looks like you've grown up." He says with a smile making her blush even more, "Especially your boobs. I mean… gosh… you're close enough to becoming the 2nd Tsunade!"

Hinata was confused to what she would do next… either blush some more or punch the guy to death… You might know the answer to this one…

Naruto rubbed his bloated face where Hinata had furiously punched while saying sorry for every punch and started to follow where his Tour Guide was taking him. Lee pointed out that everyone haven't changed much and that everyone's been ok except for Shino who's apparently depressed right now.

"What's wrong with Shino?" Naruto asks from his beaten up mouth.

"You need to see it." Lee says as he quickly ran, "But first let's run! It'll be good for taking off those nasty fat in you."

"What's that supposed to mean? Bayo~" Naruto says as he ran after him.

Lee and Naruto stopped in front of Shino who looked the same as usual. Naruto looked between from Lee and Shino and scratched his head.

"He doesn't look depressed." Naruto says closing his eyes and placing his arms behind his head.

"He is… Naruto-kun… you really don't understand people… maybe that's why you lost Sasuke-kun." Lee says.

"Just shut up. I know what I'm doing… Look I'm gonna talk to this creepy guy right now." Naruto says as he turned to Shino who was staring straight at him making Naruto shiver.

"You know I have feelings too." Shino says.

Naruto gulped, "… Do you have eyes?"

"Look, Naruto. What do you want? I'm already depressed as it is…" Shino says.

"Fine, fine. It's just that I always wanted to ask… so why you're depressed?" Naruto asks with little concern in his voice.

"Good, Naruto-kun!" Lee yells from the sidelines.

"It's just that… Well it's just that I don't feel popular… I mean in the character popular polls I'm usually marked last…" He says and Naruto nods with a thoughtful look.

"Maybe it's because you're so creepy… and it freaks out girls…" Naruto mutters.

"That's why I can't even get laid. Damn it, not even my insects like me… they're just using me so they can lay their stupid eggs in me…" Shino says.

Naruto and Lee looked back at Shino and Shino became quiet. "What? It's the truth. Even Chouji can get laid if he didn't use that damn jutsu to make him look chubby. Geeze, what's so wrong with me?"

Naruto carefully moved backwards and then quickly ran away. Naruto couldn't stay there any longer or else the creepiness of Shino might be contagious and spread to him. As Naruto ran he could hear Lee calling for him but he was already far away to even think about turning back.

Naruto arrived at his place and switched on the lights to find a huge pile of dust in the middle of the room which looked suspicious. Naruto carefully walked towards the pile of dust to find it move making him jolt backwards. The pile turned around and yellow eyes met Naruto and sharp teeth appeared on the pile of dust.

"Uwah! It's a dust monster!! I should've thought of cleaning this place more often…" Naruto yelped as he was chased around by the pile of dust in his small room with the picture of Team 7 watching him in his struggle to kill the dust monster, "RASENGAN!!"

**A/N: If you're reading this then that means you read through the whole chapter, if not THEN GET OUT OF HERE *joking*, anyway if you liked it please review! Means a lot to me!**


	3. Chapter 2: Alliances of Akatsuki, pow

**A/N: This may be a little late than usual but hey, at least I uploaded this. I was too preoccupied with the thought of Naruto being licensed and that now I can't read the manga anymore on Mangfox… why must life be so harsh! Along with the Fullmetal Alchemist manga completed 9if only there were more stories to be told about them… wait, isn't that Fanfiction is all about?) Anyway, enjoy! I have a feeling Sasuke will appear soon~**

**Disclaimer: (When the hell do I stop putting this up? I'm confused because this is my first fanfic~) I do not own **_**Naruto, **_**Kishimoto-sensei does. **

Chapter 2: Alliances of Akatsuki, pow~

~…Meanwhile in a sake bar…~

"So Tsunade… what do you think?" Jiraiya ask discreetly to the female Hokage, who was mainly drunk for all good reasons.

"What? Can you repeat that?" She asks lazily.

"You know what I'm talking, lady." Jiraiya says firmly.

"… I disapprove of it…" Tsunade says and quickly goes back to drinking sake.

Jiraiya pouts, "Aw! But it's only bikini's for the jounin females. Why do you disapprove of the new uniform?"

"No means no!" She quickly kicks him in the face and calmly goes back to her sake, "Is that all you wanted to talk about?"

"No…" Jiraiya says as he slowly crawls back to his seat, "It's about Naruto."

Tsunade takes in a glimpse of Jiraiya and sighs, "… Is it time…"

"Yes, we need to think of a way to contain it." Jiraiya starts.

"Just let him do whatever he wants." Tsunade insists.

"What? But…" Jiraiya stopped and nodded.

"If he can't keep it in his pants then that's when we have to withdraw him. You know what he's like… he's a teenage boy and when it's about Sasuke…" She looks at him with narrowed eyes, "You know what to do. Help out Naruto…"

"Yes, Hokage." Jiraiya says with a straight face but then started to laugh, "Also, Akatsuki is interested in helping. Do you think they're up to something?"

"… Seeing as Itachi is part of that organization… I think he's only helping out because of Sasuke's benefit. Just let them be…" Tsunade says and then smiles, "I'm sure Naruto will find things out by himself… I'm sure of it…"

~… Lalala…~

A knock on the door woke up the sleeping blondie. "Who knocks on my door at this time? Dattebayo!"

Naruto checks his clock to find it 12 in the afternoon. Naruto frowned at the clock and threw a kunai at it.

"There. Now it can't tell me what time it is, dattebayo! It's 9:30~" He says happily and quickly runs towards the door as the knocking became intense.

Naruto was about to open the door when he notice that he forgot to change his clothes.

"Wait one moment." He says to the door and quickly scrambled into his favourite color. Purple! No, it was actually orange.

He smiled to himself as he opened the door, "Ohayo~"

"Hello, Naruto." A familiar voice says and suddenly everything became dark, "You're coming with us."

"Huh? Hey! Hey! I'm not into the S & M stuff! Release me, dattebayo!" Naruto yelled but no-one could hear the dear blondes cries.

"Damn it, this kid is too heavy!"

"Shut up, Kisame or else you'll blow our cover."

"You idiot, you called me Kisame! Now he knows who I am. Fine! Itachi, you douchebag. There now he knows you!"

"… Stupid Kisame…"

Suddenly the blonde fell asleep over their ramblings and went off to Ramen land…

"Is he ever gonna wake up?"

"Geeze, let me wake him up..."

The blonde quickly opened up his eyes to find another blonde with what seemed like TNT in his hand.

"Oh… I was so looking forward blowing up his junk…" Deidara syas as he pouted, "… May as well blow up Itachi's doll set…"

Deidara quickly left leaving Naruto in the room with someone who resembled Sasuke. Naruto was about to call out to him when he noticed that his mouth was ducktapped.

"Sorry, Naruto, but we wanted to make sure that we didn't hear another 'dattebayo' from you… ever… but if you promise not to say it then we'll take it off." Itachi says as he moved closer towards Naruto.

Naruto quickly nodded and Itachi furiously ripped off the ducktape making Naruto cry a little.

"What do you mean? Before you were after me and now you want to help me…" Naruto says as confused as he is.

"Meh, we got sick of the wild goose-chase. It made us look like Team Rocket from Pokeman. Anyway, we already have the nine-tailed fox plushie." He says as he held up the toy plushie making Naruto yelp.

"What? You stole that from my room! How dare you!" Naruto yells.

"What? We collect them. They're so cute, especially the one-tailed beast~" Itachi says as he pokes the plushie.

"Hell yeah! So damn cute!" Kisame says as he appeared out of nowhere and started to poke at the plushie too.

"Um… can you just tell me why you have me hostage?" Naruto asks, breaking the little tea party.

"Oh, sorry. Back to our main idea. We're here to help you, Naruto…" Itachi says as he pulled off the pink frilly dress, "You want Sasuke and we're glad to help you retrieve him."

"What?" Naruto yelled with disbelief.

"Quiet, you fool or else you'll wake up Mama Pein." Kisame calls from the little tea party with Sasori drinking some tea.

"Or else we'll have to make you into a nice puppet." Sasori chimes happily.

"So, will you accept?" Itachi says.

"… But why are you helping me?" Naruto asks.

Itachi shrugs and replies, "To help my brother, of course."

Naruto stared at Itachi with narrowed eyes and Itachi stared right back at him.

"… Fine." Naruto says as he pulled away from the stare contest.

"Yay! Did you hear that, Kisame-chan? Naruto agreed to help in world domination… I mean helping him out on his love-life." Itachi squeals at Kisame.

"Oh is there a tea party going on and you didn't even invite me?" Deidara called from the door.

Suddenly one by one the whole Akatsuki crew walked into the room and started having a tea party, leaving Naruto strapped to his little chair all forgotten.

"Hey! When are you creeps gonna let me go? Hey! Is anyone listening?" Naruto yelled as he struggled with the ropes, "Man, I should've learnt that escape technique while I had the chance!"


End file.
